If I Die, Tell a Friend

I realized the other day, that if I die, there are lots of people who won't find out. I mean, I have friends in all different circles who don't overlap. So, if I die, tell a friend. Odds are good that we are within 7 degrees of Kevin Bacon of each other.

Then I was talking to a friend about this and she had to make me wonder who tells the last person on earth that someone died? She wonders how they know they died. And I totally had the answer for that. You know you were the last to die when you get up to Heaven and realize that every freaking person in the world is in line in front of you. It's like being at Disney World, but with no bathrooms. Although, really, in Heaven shouldn't you not have to pee? I mean, that would be awesome.

That's what Heaven will be like. Long lines, but not having to pee.

Smurf vs. Snork Cage Fight

So, I've been thinking. If the Smurfs and the Snorks were ever to get into a cage match, who would win? After much (too much) thought, discussion with friends, and a little research, I have decided that the Smurfs would totally smurf the Snorks' collective ass.

See, here's the logic. The Smurfs are blue, right? So even underwater with the Snorks having the homefield advantage, the Smurfs totally have the camo thing down. So, even if the Snorks could breathe and the Smurfs had to use equipment, the Smurfs would be invisible.

Next, the Snorks were nice and all. But really, they were a one trick pony. Allstar was the only one who could do anything. He was smart, athletic, and always got the girl. But the Smurfs had teamwork. They had Brainy, Papa, Smurfette, and the others. Each had their own skill. Kind of like an assembly line for kicking Snork ass. Henry Ford would be proud.

Lastly, Smurfs had their own verbs. Like they would "Smurf you". Or go to "Smurf river" and "Smurf". So, it's like football playcalls. The Snorks would be speaking English all normally but the Smurfs would be undercover. Thereby totally giving them the advantage of surprise.

So basically what I'm saying is, if you ever are in the 80's and turn into a cartoon, go for Smurf.